The rolled up mattress

Certain things are important to know before I tell the story: A is not particularly fond of mass-produced furniture. He appreciates the antique (read: old) and unique (read: handcrafted) furniture way more than anything IKEA ever produces. Sometimes A even makes his own furniture, because he believes in ‘do it yourself’. That being said, A had no other choice than come with me to IKEA to pick out a new mattress, since making that himself was just no option.

Things I didn’t expect getting up yesterday morning:

– having to buy a new mattress
– going to IKEA that day to do so
– A ruining IKEA’s storing system

Due to some miscoordination A and I ended up having to return our mattress, that we took from our old place (however that didn’t take place yet, so I will keep you posted on that episode). We found that out around 1pm yesterday. So we decided quickly to check out IKEA for some ideas on mattresses. When I suggested it, I meant online. When A read my email, he meant in person.

A came home around 3.30 that day and urged me to hurry up so we could catch the IKEA bus and get our new mattress. Again, I meant look at it, compare, think about it – the usual. A meant getting it on the spot, right now, if possible. We ran out the door, 20 mins before 4pm (which is when the bus runs, every hour on the hour). Halfway to the tram station I realized I forgot my transportation-pass, so I ran back, retrieved my pass and ran back to the tram station, 15 mins to go. Thankfully it was only 5 stops until we had to get out. 6 mins until departure. I checked my phone navigation system, it said it would take us 3 mins to get where we had to go. Sure enough 2 mins before the bus came, we were where we were supposed to be.

20 minutes later we arrived at IKEA and made our way through the living room, dining room, children’s room, bathroom and finally bedroom. We tried every single mattress until finally we both settled for one. IKEA’s employees are so sufficient, all they do is hang out at their computers and wait for customers to come around, I wish I would get paid for 2 minutes of PC work and standing around. But anyways, we then made our way to the check-out and asked the cashier, how to handle the delivery. He looked at me puzzled and slowly answered, that he highly doubted we will need delivery. He pointed at the bill and said that it only weighed 9kg (about 20lbs) and that we should be okay with taking it on the bus. He also mentioned that it was rolled up and we shouldn’t have any problems carrying it ourselves. He then pointed across the street and told us to go to the pick-up-hall.

A looked at me and said, ‘before we do that, how about ice cream?’ My eyes lid up, you don’t have to ask me twice for ice cream. So we got our mini-softserve (A’s disappointment was tremendous, he was expecting a DQ blizzard) and made our way to the warehouse.

We entered a huge hall with approximately 400 shelves and 3000 aisles, young Macaulay Culkin with glasses pointed us down the big aisle, he seemed to trust us going by ourselves. So A and I made our way down the long hallway. To this moment I still don’t know why A did what he did next and he will not be able to explain that either. But in aisle 40 he stopped next to a queen size mattress (not rolled up), not checking out the construction or the system of how these mattresses were resting. And without thinking about the impact on his next move he kick-boxed the mattress as hard as he possibly could. I slowly watched the kicked mattress following on the next, triggering the domino effect. 30 some what mattresses were to follow until the very last one ‘blooped’ onto the ground. In A’s defense: IKEA had it coming leaving mattresses standing up unsupervised.

A, stunned that he was ‘so strong’, started running towards our aisle, hiding from Macaulay Culkin and hoping to not get busted. He quickly found our mattress and was even more stunned that someone would roll up a matress so tightly. It was packed in a plastic bag with a 50cm diameter (or as A would say a a foot and a half diameter) but hey at least it was easy to carry around. He grabbed the first one and ran towards the exit, before anyone could stop him and hold him responsible for what happened to the mattresses.

On the way home A and I were still laughing about the incident, in fact so hard, we earned some mean looks on the bus. On the tram we earned even meaner looks for taking up so much room with our mattress, but A, carrying the mattress on his shoulder, turning around often and quickly hit about 20 people on the head without even realizing. Only after I was able to catch a breath from laughing so hard, was I able to apologize for his acts.

We made it home, without any other issues and A cut open the plastic bag and rolled open the mattress. Apparently we had to wait 72 hours before we should use it, which works out fine for me, dreading Saturday, when we will be taking the mattress back to our old apartment on the subway. Like I said, I will keep you posted on that – the folded up mattress 😉

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