A guide on ‘How to properly cruise’

Moving out – done. Moving in – done. Settling in – done. Now it’s time for fun, right? That’s exactly what A and I thought. The decision was easy, a cruise-trip from Oslo to Copenhagen with DFDS Pearl Seaways leaving Monday afternoon and coming back Wednesday morning. Neither A nor I have never spent an extended period of time on a boat, let alone a cruise ship, so we both were bouncing off the walls getting on it. Earliest check-in time was at 3.30 and we were there on the dot at 3.30, there were also about 1000 pensioners who had the same idea and ever so slowly made their way up the ramp. None of them had an appreciations for our ‘aaaws’ and ‘oooohs’ and less so for our ‘I can feel the boat sinking’ jokes.

Believing we were being smart, we packed a backpack full of fruits, dinner, breakfast, yogurts and water but we quickly realized that we forgot one crucial thing in our food & drinks backpack, important to a successful and equally fun cruise: alcohol. It seemed as everyone, and I mean every single one, was drunk. At one point it even dawned on me that the captain himself might be drunk as well, judging by the way the boat was rocking. Long after the take off and my taking of dramamine (yes, now I know what seasickness feels like) we stood in the freezing cold for a while, watching the sunset and meeting the only other fellow American on the entire boat. He was in his 50ies, from South Dakota and yes, just like everyone else: drunk. An awfully nice guy with a weird fondness of his equally weird beard, that thing was just funny looking to say the least but we chatted a bit about American and European/Scandinavian differences, skiing in Oslo and some other topics before we all turned in.

A and I didn’t really have a clue as for what to do now, neither of us wanted to gamble, neither of us was hungry, neither of us wanted to shop or watch the sea for potential icebergs and wales. So we went to our bunk-bed room on the 10th of 11 floors and watched Star Wars episode 5 (according to Anthony the best one out of all) and ate a pommegranet (that also was the most exciting part of our very first cruise together).

The next day we got up at 6ish, ate some breakfast and then anticipated our arrival in Copenhagen at 9.30. Around 9ish the entrance hall of the boat quickly filled with about 1000 hungover elderly people and us. As we approached the dock, A and I pushed away who ever was in our ways (unintendedly though, how was I supposed to know that old & hungover people were the meanest and also not the most stable on their feet???)

With that our day in Denmark started, but that is a different story…

However later that day, around 2.30 pm A and I decided to stop at the grocery store and buy all kinds of goodies for our second trip, yes including a bottle of white wine and a couple of beers. Again we boarded our ship on time and sat on the deck waiting for departure. But this time we were the first ones to enjoy our drinks and that we did. I am sure we were the talk of the boat, not only because of my impression on several famous songs and Titanic’s sinking scene but we had a good time (I am fairly certain others had a good time on our behalf as well).

Later that night A and I went to floor 8 (casino & shopping floor), sat down at the café and played cribbage. About 20 minutes into the game an elderly woman stopped by and showed her excitement for our game. Apparently, when she was younger, she used to play that game all the time. Her name was Astrid and she was from Boston.  She was traveling through Europe just to go skiing, crazy, right? After a long chat, she went on her way and so did we, back to our room (only after I won the round…).

That night, I believe it wasn’t the captain rocking the boat, it was definitely the wine, somehow it was comforting though, kind of like being cradled to sleep. When we woke up the next day, with mean headaches just like everybody else felt like the day before, we turned on our TV (yes, this ship came with TV and internet connection) and watched bbc’s ‘the weakest link’. A was shouting out (not always the right) answers while mean Anne dimminished the contestants (in America she’d be sued for that, for certain!).

At 9.30 we were again back in Oslo and already had made a whole check list for the next time, we travel by boat:

– have alcohol with you at all times
– have chocolate with you
– bring a hair blower (although the natural hair blower (the sea) worked just as great)
don’t play titanic’s sinking scene, it is not appreciated
– watch Star Wars episode 1-6, time flies by

Needless to say, that this time, when we arrived at the dock, we were the ones pushed out of our ways, met by less hungover elderly, but I guess that’s part of the fun. In sum: Our very first cruise trip together was a full success and we both can’t wait to go again, soon!!!

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