Half of something else.

With every great opportunity comes great sacrifice. You cannot have the one without the other. For me, the sacrifice is a simple one, for all the opportunities I was lucky to have so far in my life, I had to give time, time away from A and vice versa. We have been married for almost two years, about 7 months of which we have spent apart and I know, that’s a small sacrifice for the rest of our lives.  It’s a sacrifice nonetheless. And yes, I am also aware that other people had to endure greater sacrifices, but I don’t think it’s a contest (unless you make it one).

I am aware of all the great opportunities A and I get, slowly, one by one fulfilling one lifelong dream after another and most of the time, we didn’t even realize that we had that dream until after the fact. I do not complain about this, because in my wildest dreams I would have never, in a million years, thought I would be where I am at right now. I might have gotten here, one way or another, but I know that if it weren’t for A, I would be a long way from here.

In the past seven years we have been pushing each other further than we ever thought possible and yet still managing to stay in love. Stay together through deep valleys and high mountains. Still managing to feel this exciting feeling when we go out for Froyo on Saturday afternoon. I do not understand how it is possible to feel this way about one person, I cannot put it into words that make sense. A deep tingling happiness from head to toes, it’s quite astonishing actually.

But I am still going to bed alone. When A is gone on business, I barely sleep or eat. I barely live. I mostly run and work, because that distracts me from missing him. Don’t think for a second, I am not taking care of myself. I am, but just a tad less than when I am with A. I am still an independent person, I am still a strong-willed human being and I can survive just fine on my own. But that’s the point, there is a million shades of grey between surviving and living.

I guess, what I am getting at, is that especially now, that we come to the dark season (quite literally in Norway), enjoy the times you have together. Recognize the sacrifices and appreciate them. It won’t be easy, it won’t be simple, but it is worth it. All the time apart is forgotten, the instant I get to hear A’s voice, the second I get to see his face.

Life is funny sometimes. All my life, I was told that I had to be strong and had to stand on my own two feet and I did and I still do.  But the instant I met A, I realized that all along I was just half of something else.