One time, several years ago, one day after I arrived in the US after not having seen A for months, I locked myself out of the apartment while he was at work. That was pre-Wifi and pre-smartphones and generally during a time, where simcards were not generally used in the US. It was 11 am and I didn’t expect A to be home for another 6 hours or so. So I did the only thing that made sense: I walked to the library and turned on one of these really old computers, the ones that make more noise than a group of hooligans. I think the computer still ran on Windows 1995 back in 2010, I waited for about 45 minutes for the PC to log onto the internet. I then emailed A, that I would be at the library, without keys or money, but thankfully I was fully dressed and was wearing sneakers. I mentioned briefly, what happened and told him, just to pick me up at the library whenever he was done with work.
At 11.30 I looked at the clock and I had no choice but to accept my faith. So I decided to go through every aisle of the library and pick out books that I thought were interesting, which only took about 10 minutes. About 3 minutes after I sat down with a stack of books I saw A running up the stairs of the library, pushing open the doors and walking into the library with a big smile on his face. My heart grew a million sizes at the sight of his blue eyes and the dark curly hair. There are a few defining moments in every relationship, this was one of these moments.
When A and I first decided to give the long-distance thing a try, an eternity and a half ago, we were selfishly demanding of each other to exceed each other’s expectations in every shape and way possible. After all, there was no reason, to expect any less. If we couldn’t be together, at least we could do anything and everything in our power to make sure that we do our very best in every aspect of our lives. It was never easy, but it was a welcomed distraction for the both of us. This way, we could ignore the sadness and loneliness we felt, when we weren’t together and could just focus on school and work.
To this day, whenever A or I leave for business, we instantly revert back to our old selves, ignoring the world outside (no matter how nice the weather) and we focus on the things we can control: school and work. This is not to say, that this is a healthy attitude towards life in general but it’s a coping mechanism that we both developed in order to function somewhat normally.
When we are together, A and I really are together. I think, that’s why we like going on boat cruises, because it allows us to be really together. That’s also why I am happiest on boats, because it forces me to stay in the moment and not worry about the future. This way I cannot worry about upcoming deadlines, work that long had to be done and emails that have to be answered yesterday. On a boat however it’s just the moment that counts.
In the next few months there won’t be many opportunities for me to be on a boat, and sadly, even less opportunities to be together with A. Both, A and I will travel extensively, much farther than we ever thought possible. But because we won’t be able to travel together, it means that A and I both will go back to our hermit-crab like selves and do anything to make sure that we get the most out of our extensive travels both for ourselves but also for each other, after all, when we are not together, we owe each other that much.
On our last boat trip from Kiel back to Oslo, which we took earlier this week, we came across this beauty: the Øresund bridge. The bridge connects Sweden to Denmark. It’s quite a magnificent masterpiece and in my eyes, it symbolizes much more than a connection route between two countries. The bridge symbolizes what humans are capable of and on a more romantic note, what lovers can achieve, even if they are apart. With this thought, I will now climb into my shell while A is away on business and will breathe, eat and sleep school and work…