A has traveled the world, literally, but thankfully this world is so big, that I trust he will always find new exciting places to go, because that’s just how A is: Always in search for a new thrill (within a safe environment, mind you, so he won’t be climbing Mount Everest or swim with Great Whites any time soon, that is all me). Wherever he goes, he sends me a token of his love: a few words scribbled onto a postcard. Most of the time the postcard reaches me long after he’s come home and left again.
What’s on the front of the card doesn’t matter so much. It’s not about what he writes, or where he sends the card from, but the time that he spends selecting the card, trying to find a stamp and sending the card. To me, it’s about the time it takes the card to arrive in my mailbox and for it to reach my hands, my eyes and my heart. That’s why these postcards mean the world to me, because it means that in moments when I wasn’t able to be with A, somehow I was still with him through space and time.
The concept of time is an interesting one. We never seem to have enough of it. Somehow, we are always running late, we are always on the clock and worst of all, we seem to be always running out of time. And when that realization sets in, we cling to dear memories and moments we wish we had the chance to experience. We reach out for photos, videos and anything else that would allow us for a brief moment to just forget that time even exists. But no matter how desperately we want to stop time, no matter how much we offer to bargain time, time does not respond, time does not reciprocate. Time is just time. But time is all we have.
Have you ever met someone and loved them so deeply, your heart burst into a million pieces? I imagine that’s what it feels like whenever you get to meet your child for the very first time after you’ve been waiting for months and months. It must be like that, otherwise, why would so many people choose to have children? I don’t have any children but I know what it feels like when you love someone so much, that your heart is physically aching, when your heart is bursting from your own out-pour of love.
It’s a feeling of tenderness, raw emotion, untouched by whatever emotional baggage you have been dealing with. A burst heart is love times infinity, not even time can touch that. But sometimes you can run out of time and your heart is torn between being burst and being broken. Sometimes time takes something that very much belongs to your world from this earth and expects you to deal with it. In those moments we desperately cling to everything that is earthy, even the smallest of tokens. That’s when every seconds matter, because it’s all we have… Time.
So today, and every day forward, make sure you make every single moment count, make sure you get your heart burst a million and a half times, because that’s what makes time so precious. That’s what live is about, having a burst heart, that’s what having time is about. That’s when you know that you love someone times infinity: When you put your broken heart aside and have a burst heart instead especially through the hardest of times, because that’s when you need it the most.
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