Ich bin bei dir

Let me start this off by saying, that A and I usually go to bed early. And by early I mean 9pm. We force ourselves to stay up at least until 9pm. But after 9pm both of us literally fall apart.

But when A asked me to lay down next to him yesterday (16th of October 2012) around 8pm, even I was surprised and a bit taken aback. That’s early, even for our standards. In retrospect though, best decision ever.

I crawled up into our loft bed and laid down next to A. As I laid my head on my pillow I realized that there was something hard underneath it. I immediately sat up again, almost bumping my head on the ceiling, and pulled out the object underneath my pillow. It was a book: The book of Love – Vol 2.

Volume 1 of the Book of Love was a birthday-gift from Anthony about a year and a half ago. The first book was about how we first met and how we stayed together, even through the distance and that eventually we both will be able to live together. Back then, neither of us knew that only a few months later we would move to Oslo together.

This Volume however is about our very first year together in Oslo. A had it printed in the US and shipped it via mail to Oslo. It now makes sense, that A tried desperately to always be the first person to be home and also to be the first person to get to the mailbox every day. I don’t think he noticed, that I noticed his eagerness. 😉

As I opened the book, A told me to carefully read every page. He was very clear that I was not allowed to flip through the pages WITHOUT reading it. So I did just that. I basically was reliving our first year together as I was looking through the pages.

I then came to a blue page with a poem of my most favorite German author: Johann W. Goethe.

Goethe writes about, how even through distance you can still be together. Forever. To be honest, I thought it was pretty awesome that A picked this particular poem. It sums up our relationship so well and as I was reminiscing about the time, we were apart, being happy that we will never have to live like that anymore, I turned the page once more.

As I read through the first few lines (and yes, I am tearing up again as I write this), I was wondering what ring A was talking about. I didn’t see a ring. Ultimately the lord of the rings came to my mind but then I read about the diamond, the hands, the lives together and I was wondering… could it be? Is it true? This must have been A’s longest minutes in his life. Since I started to choke up, he took it upon himself to read out loud the last few lines of the page.

I then looked onto the next page and there it was.

A was on his knees, helping me to get the ring out of the self-made pouch in the book (and yes, he cut the hole in himself too, I imagine that only took forever), and he asked me the one question, that did not require an answer, because in his heart he already knew the answer, the day we first met.

I immediately started crying and laughing and hugged A and of course, the answer was and is and always will be – yes. I will.

I then looked closely at the engraving of the ring, and it said, like in the poem, ‘Ich bin bei dir’ (I am with you). And that A will be, for the rest of my life.

As I found my words again, I reached for my phone and dialed my mom’s number. Needless to say, she started bursting into tears the second I announced our engagement. Only minutes later both of our families knew and then of course, our friends and then of course social-media world. We even were able to reach our close friend Ams. But that is a different story, that I will tell soon 😉

I didn’t sleep all night, because the feeling, the happiness, the excitement is so overwhelming. I can’t even begin to describe it. Knowing that you have found your significant other, is one thing, knowing that you will be with him for the rest of your life, is an entirely different situation. I am lost for words.

All I can say is, that I too, will be with A.

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