The graduate

 I delivered my bachelor’s thesis about three days ago and ever since I clicked the button that said “deliver” I had absolutely nothing, and I mean NOTHING, to do. I am literally losing my mind, not doing anything. That’s not to say, that I sit around on my sofa in my comfy pants and stare out of the window, wondering what in the heck I should do with my life (although I am doing that right now), but I’ve been going to work, reading fun books and articles, installing Endnote and thinking to myself, it would have been so much more helpful if I would have installed that before I started my bachelor’s thesis. I finally have the time to answer emails and play around with my newest gadget, a GoPro Hero4, but all of that just is not enough. I am easily irritated, unhappy with the world and just generally not having fun. That’s what graduating does to you. It puts you in a dark spot where it feels like you are stuck in quicksand.

And yes, I know, all of these first world  problems are horrible to deal with. Yet another whiner that had the opportunity to achieve greatness and went to the dark side.

But here is the deal, no matter what situation you are in, it can always, out of nowhere feel like a huge wave is crashing in on you. One minute you are having the ride of your life and the next second you are eating dust. I am no different, I always felt like that in between big steps, it’s natural, I think. The only way to actually prevent this feeling of nothingness is to plan every single second after you have accomplished the big thing, that was your personal goal for decades, years, months, weeks or days.

Unfortunately though, if you don’t plan ahead, you will end up doing crazy things, like buy a gallon of ice cream and eat it in one sitting or buy a horse or anything else that seems ridiculous (unless you actually like horses and that was your plan all along). I did plan ahead, but my planning ahead meant I would have to sit and wait for the next month to find out what master’s program I got into. Until I find out, I will sit and wait and wait and sit and wait some more and sit some more (although I will go for a run here and there and maybe sleep a bit and go to work and what not…).

In the meantime, I will try to take it easy. I signed up for online classes, I am going to Portugal next month, I am already planning our Christmas vacation this year, I am planning my field-work for my master’s program… The list is endless, because, and this is one thing many people forget, that’s what graduating is about: endless opportunities! Seizing the day! Accomplishing something worthwhile! Be out in the world and make a difference! And the thought of being someone out there that actually can change something (what ever that may be), is amazing and thrilling! And that’s the feeling I want to take with me from the experience of graduating.

It’s not easy, accomplishing a goal that is. It’s not about how you start, but how you finish and what you do with it after you finish. So I urge you, whatever your goals might be, to not let that be the goal, I mean to reach the goal should not be the goal. But what you do with it after! Be awesome, be great and be kind to yourself!

With this I take my figurative hat off and thank my family and friends for supporting me 100% of the way. I thank my husband A for pushing me when I thought I couldn’t be pushed further and my family for asking questions that I did not know the answer to. I thank my friends for being there and listening to any and every problem I ran into and mostly, I thank my hamster, for showing me how to do absolutely nothing all day and not fall into despair.

Happy graduating everyone!


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