The things couples don’t talk about…

Yes, we finally made it. We don’t have to say goodbye anymore. We don’t have to miss each other anymore and fights can finally take place without any skype delays. Lucky us.
No one ever told me that insomnia is contagious or that my sleeping preferences might differ from A’s. No one ever bothered to tell me that some people love to sleep on fluffy cloud-like beds where else others love to sleep on rock-hard beds. No one ever told us that anxiety is contagious and that if you are exposed it too frequently that eventually you turn into a shaky, anxious something that not even you yourself can deal with. What do you do if you don’t like the same movies, if you despise each other’s taste in music, colors, dishes, clothes? What do you then? Become either super bland to please each other or be yourself and let the other one deal with their issues, since yes, you are perfect and no, the other one still yet has to learn – from you – how to be perfect.
A and I had to deal with all those issues over the last 31 days, and no, it wasn’t pleasant at all, mainly because we both are sleep deprived (in case you ever wondered, yes, insomnia is highly contagious), didn’t have a healthy diet over the last week or so (ice cream, Chinese, Pizza, Cheesesteak and maybe some piece of fruit or two) and we are both just overly excited about what the future holds for us. We still yet have to figure out if A’s cloud-like bed or my rock-hard bed are better to sleep in. We had countless discussions about what to toss and what to keep, what to take with us and what to leave behind. Inevitably I became the enemy with the huge black trash bags and A tried harder and harder to hold on to every little thing, that he could possibly save.
We finally got to the point though, where – almost – everything is packed up, the U-haul-truck is stuffed with the things that survived, we got the contract with the storage unit ironed out. We gave away almost all of the things that we won’t need in near (or far) future and we’re almost ready to shut the door behind us and leave this place that has been our home for the last 3 years.
Here we are, A and I, arm in arm reminiscing about the past. When I first entered A’s apartment I was stunned, not by all the junk that was standing around, gathering dust, no I was amazed by all the personality one apartment could hold. With one glance into what A called ‘his home’ I already knew that him and I will one day have a wonderful – slightly less filled up with random junk – home together, a home that describes the bird and the fish equally. And in about 2 weeks we will finally be in Oslo and start our search of little souvenirs to fill up our apartment with personality.
What couples do tell you about when they first move in, is how they would never want to do that again, how stressful it was and how relieved they are that they won’t have to do that in the near future anymore. They tell you how exhausting and aggravating it was and that ‘the next time, we’ll hire a moving company’.
What couples don’t tell you about how they learn to love the most annoying things about their partner. They don’t tell you, how they learnt to love each other’s taste in music (believe it or not A can sing along Rihanna’s songs and I can almost sing along with Fig-fig-fig-fig-fig-aaaaaaaaroooooo, although the only singer I can really tell apart from the others is Pavarotti…). I got A to stop ruining Disney movies for me, in return I watched movies like Jaws, Jurassic Park and all kind of scary stuff, that to him is entertainment, to me is another sleepless night. A finally agreed with me that one day we will buy dished of our own, so we will be in possession of at least one complete dish set.
And as far as clothes go, well, that’s a different subject.
What couples don’t tell you about, is how they fall deeper and deeper in love with each other because that goes without saying.
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One thought on “The things couples don’t talk about…

  1. Pingback: One and only. | A bird loves a fish

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