The letter Y

Jessy was my whole life. I never knew anything different than Jessy. That’s what my parents called me, that’s what my family and friends called me, that’s how I wrote my own name, that’s who I was. Jessy. With a Y. But one day, there was no Y anymore. I’d like to say it happened... Continue Reading →

The Water’s Surface. – A poem

Like a phoenix - that's how you want to soar.High above the clouds.High above anyone. High above anything.But I am here, gravity pulling me down into the darkness, shackles slowly tearing me down.Where have you been? Where have you gone? Where are you now?I hear myself calling for you in the darkest corners of my... Continue Reading →

Before you go.

People ask me what the hardest part about living apart from my partner is. It's difficult to explain and in many ways I think even more difficult to understand. But I'll try anyways. So, here are a few things that we've found help us when things are really getting tough. Decision. When A and I... Continue Reading →

On the shoulders of giants

A couple months ago I was invited to work on a research vessel as a marine mammal observer - which to simplify means that I'll be professionally whale watching (of course there is MUCH MORE to that than just gazing at beautiful marine mammals - I'll actually be making sure that they're not hurt in... Continue Reading →


I sometimes forget that not everyone gets the chance to experience the things that I am fortunate enough to experience. I keep telling myself (and anyone who asks) that everything I do, everyone else can do to. And while that is true in theory, I know that in practice that this is not true. So,... Continue Reading →

Dance with me

In our everyday lives, there is not enough room for dancing. As a child you'll break into a dance any chance you get. Who needs to set one foot in front of the other, when you could just as easily twirl, skip, hop, side-step, and whatever else your preferred method of moving forward was when... Continue Reading →

In the air tonight.

Yesterday morning, as I was balancing my laptop bag and backpack in one hand, my car keys, my jacket, and my travel mug in the other, for the first time ever I saw a shooting star. I have the habit of putting my travel mug on top of my car as I leave the house,... Continue Reading →

Flying kites

The older I get the more I realize that I did not have a normal childhood. I had a good one, but not a normal or rather average one. Obviously, I have not suffered because of it, I grew up just fine and had everything I needed and for that I am eternally grateful, but... Continue Reading →

Until death do us part…

When I was young, I always imagined to one day own a house sitting on a cliff overlooking the ocean. Listening to the waves every waking hour, opening the windows whenever I wanted to feel and smell the ocean breeze. I was ten when this idea first entered my mind and after nearly two decades,... Continue Reading →

From bad to worse…

24 hours into Our Australia adventure and everything (mostly me) fell apart. On top of rearranging our next couple of weeks I fell severely ill. Not just a little cough, but coughing so hard that A literally just told me (rather angrily barked at me) that I should stop what I was doing (working, mostly...... Continue Reading →

Catching feels

Yesterday, we enjoyed a wonderful breakfast in Pasadena and made our way west wards. The Mojave desert is unlike anything I've ever seen. The landscape is so impressive, mountains and hills and vast sandy plains and cactuses, as far as the eye can see. And sun. Lots and lots of sun, something I've come to... Continue Reading →

24 hours in…

Oh wow. We're 24 hours into our world trip and man, I couldn't be happier. I was afraid we wouldn't make our LA flight but turns out, Norwegian Air thought of everything and we were through customs in less than 5 minutes. All flights to the US have amped up their security, so surprisingly A... Continue Reading →

Love times infinity.

A has traveled the world, literally, but thankfully this world is so big, that I trust he will always find new exciting places to go, because that's just how A is: Always in search for a new thrill (within a safe environment, mind you, so he won't be climbing Mount Everest or swim with Great... Continue Reading →

The magic of music.

Every life is accompanied by music, no matter where you are from, no matter where you are headed: Music is and always will be part of your journey. I fell in love with music when I was little. My childhood household wasn't very musical, both my brother and I played the recorder and the guitar... Continue Reading →

Three days in paradise.

#summer2k16 so far has everything but what I imagined it would be. I left for Germany on July 5th for three weeks of intense catering to teenagers’ needs. To be honest, I don’t know what I expected but I can with 100% certainty say, I did not expect this. The three weeks were intense emotionally... Continue Reading →

The end, part 6

  This is the final and last part of our month-long road-trip through the US and I know you're thinking, "Geesh, finally, took you long enough". And yes, it took me almost longer to finish the road-trip saga than actually being on the road-trip with A. So yes, this is the final installment, the one... Continue Reading →

Music town, Part 5

A note of warning, before I jump into the fifth part of our month long road-trip: Because our trip was so extensive, eventful and wonderful at the same time, I decided to split my blog into several installments. The first part recapitulated our initial car-troubles whereas the second part told the wonderful story about excessive amounts of... Continue Reading →

Eat-cation 2.0

The last half year has been incredibly stressful for A and me. We desperately needed a few days to ourselves, away from home, away from responsibilities, away from everything that we love (except for each other). So we did the only sensible thing: going on an eat-cation. Remember Vilnius earlier this year? That's when I... Continue Reading →

Half of something else.

With every great opportunity comes great sacrifice. You cannot have the one without the other. For me, the sacrifice is a simple one, for all the opportunities I was lucky to have so far in my life, I had to give time, time away from A and vice versa. We have been married for almost... Continue Reading →

My loveletter.

I promised A I wouldn't say anything and keep it my sweet little secret but I cannot let this day slide by without saying a few words, without sharing this with at least you, my most loyal reader: A. Dearest A, I cannot believe that today is the day. June 7th, 2013. I have been... Continue Reading →

Scavenging Christmas.

Christmas came and left way too quickly if you ask me. The weeks leading up to Christmas have been crazy. Finishing up my semester at school, running my half-marathon and working overtime. Somehow though, I made it through long working-Sundays and crazy customers, through endless hours of analyzing films and writing home-exams and through ice-cold... Continue Reading →


I have to admit, out of all the months October has to be my second most favorite. (The first being May, because of my birthday.) I love October because it never fails to amaze me how the leaves turn colors, how the seasons change, how the air smells differently, how you just feel differently. It makes... Continue Reading →


Three years ago, when I came back to Austria for good it was partly because I learnt that summer that my grandma had cancer. My world trembled, I felt lost and scared. I wanted to call my grandma but I didn't know how to, I didn't know what to say, I didn't want to do... Continue Reading →

I am so proud of you, Grandma.

My grandma is the greatest woman I have ever known. She's a strong-headed woman, a stubborn woman, a woman with so much love, words wouldn't be able to express it. A family-person, a great cook (aren't all grandmas?), a wonderful story-teller, someone who always listens and has the biggest of all hearts. She's been always... Continue Reading →

What?! Really?? No way…

So let me get this right, you left the US 2 months ago and you're still paying for gas and electricity? Your car is not paid off yet? Really? I thought you were done with it. I mean, it's not like you're still living there. Come on... Well, see, nobody - and I mean NOBODY... Continue Reading →

The vicious tomato can

I am not much of a cooker. That's why A and I are so perfect together, because he loves to cook... In fact one of the first things I told my mom about A was, 'I hit the jackpot... he cooks.' It's not that I can't cook, I actually enjoy cooking very much, it's just... Continue Reading →

The Martinsens

The Martinsens were a nice couple, I imagine. They've traveled quite a lot and have been all over the place, at least according to all the framed pics and some of the artwork that we took off the walls.One of the Martinsens was a musical genius, or at least somewhat good and loved the violin... Continue Reading →

First impressions, first expressions

We got the basics fairly quick, takk and vær så snill, unnskyld meg. Nonetheless we are far from having a normal conversation with a native. A and I still are playing the 'I'm an American, therefore I speak English' card, which so far didn't exactly put us in good standing with the natives but at least they... Continue Reading →

I’m a country-man alright.

Monday, August 8th6 a.m., A and I just finished breakfast and are headed down to Pennsylvania, 12 hours of a car ride. The goal: to get to A's brother asap to crash on his couch.To be honest I barely remember what we talked about that night and what we have done, I just remember children... Continue Reading →

A thank-you note

Thank you everybody. No, seriously, thank you everybody. Neither A nor I can express how thankful we are for all of you, who supported us, thank you for being there for us. Mentally, physically, daily and always. Thank you for your open and caring hearts. Thank you for believing in us. Thank you for your... Continue Reading →

The things couples don’t talk about…

Yes, we finally made it. We don’t have to say goodbye anymore. We don’t have to miss each other anymore and fights can finally take place without any skype delays. Lucky us. No one ever told me that insomnia is contagious or that my sleeping preferences might differ from A’s. No one ever bothered to... Continue Reading →

The heartbreaking silence…

When you were married for several decades, there is most likely not a single day you remember being without the other person. You also don't remember all the fights about the most ridiculous things but you remember the big days, the big nights, the happiness. But what if one day you wake up and it's... Continue Reading →

Only an email

When I sat down in my seat in a tiny airplane on my way to EWR, my heart stopped for a second. All the memories of the US customs came rushing back to me. The mean custom officers - usually frustrated males - with their dark uniforms, with their shiny badges, their tired eyes and... Continue Reading →

I dare you to say goodbye.

We finally made it. We finally got here. We're finally moving in together. We're finally packing our things, finally throwing the last few bits and pieces into our suitcases and finally driving off to the airport... But hold on a second there. We've been anticipating this moment for - dare I to say it? -... Continue Reading →


The plot: Martin Brody is the new police chief of Amity, an island resort town somewhere in New England. He has a wife named Ellen, and two sons named Michael and Sean. On a Summer morning, Brody is called to the beach, where the mangled body of Summer vacationer Chrissie Watkins has washed ashore. Shark... Continue Reading →

Spoiled milk.

If I would have to compare our relationship, I'd say it's a lot like a milk carton sitting in your fridge for weeks and weeks... but in the best possible way.Soooo, why would anyone in a happy and functioning relationship ever compare their bonding to something so gross?See, when milk spoils it doesn't get worse. It's spoiled, you... Continue Reading →

…the best of both worlds.

A Chinese tale tells the story of two lovers who were never able to be together. They are called night and day. In the magic hours of dusk and dawn they touch lightly and meet almost, but it never really happens. If you listen carefully, they say, you would be able to hear their groaning and see the sky redden by their rage. The tale says that the gods were kind enough to grant them a moment of happiness from time to time and therefore would have created solar and lunar eclipse, in which they could love each other. It was about 4.30 am and I was sitting in the yet still cold sand and gazing into... Continue Reading →

The book of love – volume 1.

As I read through my very own copy of the book of love yesterday, I couldn't help it and started to sing Peter Gabriel's version of this song. The book of love is long and boring, no one can lift the damn thing. It's full of charts and facts and figures and instructions for dancing... Continue Reading →

The last piece

I love games. I play all kinds of games. Quest-games, board games, card games but more than games I love puzzles, they calm me down, they train my patience and they make me incredibly happy. Mainly because I can see the results in basically no time (not counting the 5 days between the unwrapping the... Continue Reading →

The waverunner incident.

Every relationship goes through ups and downs. They are part of what makes your relationship unique, not the existence of those ups and downs but how you and your significant other deal with those problems. In most cases they are not even about your relationship. A and I have been together for a bit longer... Continue Reading →

…till death do us part.

This story is not about A and me (for a change), it's not about some kind of zoo or sweets, it's not about the prince in his shining armor. This story is about my grandparents. Dedicated to my parents and everyone who was lucky enough to love someone with all their heart and in return... Continue Reading →

The 3-legged dog

It’s pitiful to watch a 3-legged dog, you want to look away but you can’t. Whatever he does, it always leaves a bittersweet note. For instance, watch a 3-legged dog trying to swim. You want to tell him to quit trying; you can see how much he suffers but he keeps going. You want to... Continue Reading →

I heart NY?!

A was in NYC for business, I just tagged along for the fun. We left Philadelphia on Monday afternoon and planned on having a nice dinner in NYC and crash early since A had to get up super early the next morning for his business-thingi. After getting settled in the hotel, we decided to go... Continue Reading →

Valentine’s ain’t over.

I understand that November until March can be a pretty miserable time. I for my part have to get up before the sun rises and get home after the sun sets (I can imagine that you too have to go through that). And it's depressing, no doubt about that. Although there is no evidence, I... Continue Reading →

…at the zoo.

A zoo is a wonderful place for little children. Not only do they get to see animals that otherwise they would only see on TV but they also get hands-on experience with their fellow-zoo-goers. Sometimes I wonder if the actual animal is really behind the electrical fence/glass or in front of it. The masses of... Continue Reading →

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